A Kick Off The Kickstarter

Well, it has been a while since I last posted anything on here. I know that my blog appears to be in the main quite negative to say the least, but I am pleased to say that there has been some welcome positivity shining through at last. I have started a project on the crowd-funding website Kickstarter earlier this year, and to my very pleasant surprise, I have actually managed to raise some money via this route. It is called Project "Halo", and the aim was to raise enough money to update equipment for the recording of a new album (to be called "Halo") and to be able to fund the pressing, distributing and promotion of the finalised CD. The money has come through, I have bought the most urgent pieces of equipment and am about to start recording the album. I have enough songs for it to be a double one, something that excites me even more. It is obvious to me that I have to employ a totally different approach to the recording sessions for this project. That is, they will need to be simple and to the point, with the emphasis on song-writing and arrangement, rather than relying on the wall of sound I am so used to throwing at my poor listeners. Exciting times.

It's A Jungle Out There

The new album JUNGLE LIFE should be coming out at the beginning of April. I feel emotionally and physically drained, but happy otherwise.

Darker Still

Not sure how depressed one can get.  I do know I'm there though.  I need to feel better, I want to feel better, but I get in the way.

More Pain

Feeling so depressed.  So so depressed.  The album has gone stale and people's constant miserable and bitter attitude has finally got to me.  Tired of trying to put a smile on everyone when all I get in return are excuses for more misery.  So painful for the soul.

Dark Again

There it is, the constant drain, the dreaded drain...

Wading Through

The recording sessions for the new album Jungle Life are proving to be an absolute torture for the soul. I know how I want all the songs to sound, but cannot seem to find the confidence to pull it off.

After discarding an entire album's worth of songs already, I am finally happier with the list, yet nothing can disguise the disappointment I feel upon listening to my efforts so far.

I hate what I'm wading through.

New Light

It is the beginning of 2012 and time to get busy.

Have started practising new and old songs, so that I can get a few gigs and festivals under my belt this year. Production of the new album has stalled a little, but new songs are still coming in fast and furious.

I seem to find that the older I get, the more active my mind seems to be. My never-ending quest for knowledge has made me think about restarting Open University study, finance permitting.

Yes, a new year and a new light has entered my life. A beacon of passion for truth, progress and artistic satisfaction.

The Joys Of Summer

It is well known fact that Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD) affects a great number of people around the northern part of the globe where winter days are short and gloomy. This lack-of-sunshine malady is not always appreciated by inhabitants of the warmer climates, but can be devastating, particularly for those countries where the rate of suicide is already high. I have always openly admitted to suffering from this affliction with various degrees of strength, depending on the severity of the winter. Today is the first day when the appearance of the sun has affected me in a delightfully positive way. I can feel a lighter disposition of the spirit, a wonderous sweet temperament enveloping the mind, a convoy of happy emotions. Friday afternoon will mark the beginning of a ten day long break from the intrinsic tediousness and stress of office work. I shall be rejoicing at the prospect of spending more time with my loved ones and the ability to work on the latest recordings in a stress-free environment. Summer is my friend.

Next Gig

Quite looking forward to this Saturday night's gig in the Glenmore Arms. I am going to introduce more of my own songs this time, as having to do covers pains me so much. I do understand that drunks in a pub want songs to sing along to, but I feel like a performing monkey sometimes. Never that much fun reworking other people's material, seriously.

That Long Black Cloud...

Sometimes I feel like I'm I've been immobilised with a shot of banality.

Trying so hard to be creative and prolific. Instead, I pick myself up only to step even heavier into the quicksand of self-doubt, being constantly pushed further down by something I cannot see or understand.

Check out music from Rob Bartlitz

Pain In The Backside

I have lived with what I call The Evil That Lives Within for a long long time now. It strikes when least expected, but rears its ugly head more frequently when I'm tired. Which I am.

It tends to start with the lower back and backs of the knees both feeling incredibly weak and strangely numb. Then the dizziness, breathlessness, indigestion and long sleeping sessions. Lasts a few days and then back to normal, if I can ever be described as that.

The world is falling apart, and my body's not much better. No, not old age, just me.

Dark Skies

My continual obsession with perfection hinders attempts at creativity. Nothing is ever good enough. The trouble is that I know it isn't and therefore don't see my obsession as that.

Rare are the days when I feel satisfied with my artistic output or otherwise. I crave those days like a madman searching for a glimpse of the sun in a permanently cloudy sky.

Soapy

I have just realised that in my first post I have promised not to get the soap box out and rant about anything I happen not to approve of. But guess what? I'm human and therefore prone to changing my mind.

A lot that I call injustice plagues my mind. If it weren't for the likes those that try to fight for a good world, we would all still be in the Dark Ages.

"Wake up and smell the coffins, Rob, in many ways we are" - I hear you say.

Degrees Of Delusion

How often do people get caught out thinking that their case is special? Businesses, or any organisations in need of some kind of advertising for that matter, need to make the customer feel like they are the only one worthy of attention. Make no mistake, this is simply a ruse, albeit a necessary one that keeps businesses afloat and organisations in people's minds.

The only thing I ask is that when the customer is in that moment of glory, treat them how you would like to be treated yourself. Yes, they may have made the purchase already, but not only will they come back and get their friends to be customers for you, but it makes life just that little more bearable for all of us.

Riding The Waves Of Despondency

It is a rather sad fact of life that depression hits everyone - some more often than others admittedly. Without the occasional reality check, majority of us would have remained inane idiots incapable of controlling our emotions.

I have made no secret of my tendency to spiral inwards. What makes it difficult to accept is that I do not always have a reason. Perhaps it will forever be the cross I'm destined to bear. Perhaps it makes me more human, perhaps less so. I do not understand it nor can ever accept it fully, but have definitely learned to live with it, however painful.

Now one thing must be made absolutely clear: I do not for one moment believe that it is solely my singular predicament - this is precicely my point. We all are sufferers in some degree. And the only credible medicine for this illness of the soul is real love of another human being, but do I really need to state that?

Moving Ahead

OK, so there are more gigs coming up at the Glenmore Arms in Welling. One on Sat 19 Feb 11 and one on Sat 02 Apr 11. Hopefully, I can create a little following. No groupies yet... or ever... In the meantime, the new album is coming along very nicely. It will be called Songs Of Freedom and I am planning to release it sometime at the beginning of the summer this year. The previous album (entitled The Evil That Lives Within) should be available on Amazon and iTunes in February, as long as they don't hate it too much. My two best presents this last year were the new acoustic guitar and Mischa the kitten.

First Gig In Ages

Played a gig Thursday 18th September at the local pub, Glenmore Arms in Welling. It seemed to have gone down very well, now I am looking for more venues. I do have another one coming up in the same pub on Saturday 4th December, but am keen to do a little more now, whilst still afresh from the last one.

It's Just Not Write

Yes, it has been a very long time yet again since I have last written. To be totally honest, I actually completely forgot about this blog of mine.

Trying Twitter at the moment, but do not find it as satisfying as it is just basically twittering, instead of voicing an opinion. Facebook allows me to keep in contact with like-minded people, friends and family, so gets a higher score. However, for the risk of sounding a little old-fashioned, talking to people face to face is still the best way to interact and I wish that so many would not resort to online social networking instead of looking into each others' eyes.

Much happier at work now, not looking for another one as there is no need to. Got a good boss and Debbie working alongside me now, so feel less pressure.

Donna is recovering very well after the operations and is back to work full time since a few months ago.

Money is tight, as it is for most Britons, so not sure if we will be able to afford a holiday this year, which makes me very sad. Last year, we had the best one of our lives in Parga, mainland Greece. We managed to hire a car for few days and saw so much of the beautiful Epirus region. The most stunning was the breathtaking trip to Meteora, recommened if you're ever heading that way.

Our plans to move premanently to Greece are on hold due to the lack of money or any form of financial backing, pity. I wish my recent album could sell in the shops, so we can afford to live. Perhaps my oil paintings will get us somewhere, here's hoping :)

And Rest...

Well, yes - back yet again. A lot has happened since the last time I posted anything on here.

Been on a holiday in Alonissos June this year and loved every minute of it. we had to go by train as Donna was recovering from two operations on her skull due to her Arnold-Chiari Malformation. She's just had yet another operation to place a shunt in her lower spine to drain excess cranial fluid, and is recovering now.

It has been a very difficult year for all of us and we are more than glad to be on the way back to normality. Just feel like resting all the time, that's all.

To pass the time, I've recently taken up oil painting - oh what a joy that is :) Look out for exhibition dates once the paitings have dried up in six month's time...

Back Yet Again

Don't even ask me why I haven't been writing lately. I have been too busy, I suppose would be the usual answer. Had a good holiday in Olu Deniz in the summer, good Christmas, but still no new job. That's about it for now. Oh, and by the way, I'm way too fat and unhealthy - something that needs to change in the new year... sorry - WILL CHANGE!

Back Again

Well, after a very long period away, I have finally managed to get back to my blog and update my web site at the same time. It's been yonks, so I have a lot to catch up. For tonight, I will rest.

For the last 6 weeks I've not been feeling too well. Just before Christmas, I caught a chest infection. This was followed by bronchitis a week later. The infection did disappear soon, but I was left with incredibly painful coughing fits. After 4 lots of antibiotics, X-rays, blood tests etc, I was finally sent last Monday to a chest specialist at the hospital, who diagnosed Cough Variant Asthma. This is a temporary asthma that makes my lungs sensitive to just about anything (cold, wet or dry air, cold and dairy drinks, exercise, bad positioning of the body) and is incredibly unpleasant and draining. One of its side effects is that I got what's called a Cough Syncope, which means I faint when I cough too much. Two weeks ago, I was sitting at the computer, started coughing, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor with blood gushing out of my forehead. So, apart from anything else, it's obviously quite dangerous.

Nevertheless, I am now on a new course of tablets that I hope will put me on a road to recovery soon. The mucus at the back of my throat has disappeared to be replaced by incredible dryness. It's a weird feeling, as I want to cough and there is nothing there to cough up. Since the beginning of this year, I've already gone through 7 jars of honey, and I'm about to put my coat on and go get another one.

Due to all this, the Open University short science course I was doing has fallen behind ever so slightly. Thank God I can submit the assignment again in April. Only thing is - I'm about to start a proper OU (e-commerce) course in 5 days, which obviously will take most of my time now. Nevermind, all for a good cause.

Donna's and mine 3-year anniversary this weekend! She's working as usual though, which will dampen it a little. Going to celebrate on Tuesday instead, if we get time. Ah... the joys of modern life. Really, really need to get away from it one way or another!

We've just looked at the possiblity of moving to New Zealand. Not ideal as our families all live within an 800-mile radius. But it's definitely a dream. The fume-filled, poverty-stricken London does not appeal to me any more.

Still ain't got a job anywhere else. Had a nice holiday though - in Thassos, Greece.

For my namesday (Polish custom), I'm getting the new Nelly Furtardo album and Blackadder Goes Forth. I'm happy.

A nice and sunny day at last - spring's coming! - Just thought I'd broadcast some good news...

I have just read everything I've written underneath, and decided it's not a blog but a bog.

This is slowly turning into some kind of parody of everything I abhor: lack of direction, arrogance, ignorance and complacency. Every time I sit down to write something, I come up with nothing in its full glory.

So many ideas in my head, yet so little time to test them out. Or perhaps so little enthusiasm or faith.
Many of us curse other people's work, creations, opinions - it is the easiest thing in the world after all to be an armchair critic. Even constructive criticism is a miss as it makes us feel so important and knowledgeable, so much higher than that pathetic thing that we are criticising. We always would have know the correct procedure to implement or get out of a no-win situation. Come on, it is soooo easy. Easy when you know how, easy in hindsight, easy when we are not under pressure, mental or physical, easy when we can see the whole picture.
Nothing is ever black and white, 0 or 100. You're never safe, never exempt from any kind of calamity or tragedy. Sadly we only see this when we've been taught a very hard lesson. Don't ever make the mistake of falling into De Bono's intelligence trap.
I've always aspired to do everything I set my sights on, becoming a jack of many trades and master of none in the process, and yet I find myself criticising mercilessly all those that have succeeded doing precisely the same. And then it only prompts me to promise myself never to do that again. Until the next time.
Perhaps it's time for some serious self-criticism.

Life is sweet, life is bitter. Life is all those things you read about and believe will never happen to you. Life is unpredictable, undetectable and unforgiving. Above all - life is just life and there's nothing more to it. So why do we delve so deep into its meaning? After all, a lot of crap's been written about life, such as in the lines above.

This is my first attempt so I will keep it short and sweet.
It is not my intention to impose my views onto anyone, create a dispute or debate on any subject, but simply to write down my thoughts and feelings in a simple and editable format. It is perhaps more of a memory aid than a soap box.
Thus, from this message onwards, I intend to not upset or derail anyone with any of my words. Should I do so inadvertently, I intend to distance myself from any dispute resulting.
Whether my human nature will allow this remains to be seen.